What do you picture when you think of Power? Is it strong? Is it control? Is it forceful?
What do you envisage when you think of Empower? Is it strong? Is it control? Is it forceful?
If you think that someone has Power over you, this is rarely a good thing. It feels controlling. The urge to fight back, to regain power and put them in their 'rightful' is strong. Or it can be too much, kicking back isn't worth it, no energy, our spirit dampened. But we lie in wait...waiting for them to wain...waiting for the chink in their armour. When we see it...we pounce. Giving them a taste of their own medicine. We seek revenge.
In this fight over power, there is none! Both parties are losing their self-esteem. Not to mention what's happening to the relationship.
Power in relationships is damaging. Whether this is with your partner, your child, your family, your colleagues it's damaging. Stephen Covey talks about the emotional bank account (7 habits of highly effective people), a metaphor for the amount of trust in the relationship. And trust, or the lack of it, tells you so much. Check out respect as well, as a gauge.
If you're spending time proving that you're right/they're wrong; you're in a power struggle. It's your ego that's fighting!
Stop! Step back! Ask yourself what is it that you need. Not that you're right / they're wrong...no.
What is it that you really need, that would fulfill you. Listen carefully. This is a quiet voice. It doesn't shout like the ego. It whispers. It empowers you.
