Sharon Rooke - Psychotherapy & Counselling
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24/6/2015 0 Comments

Empowering People

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Walking away from the school drop off this morning, I felt anything but resourceful or resilient. 

There were tears in my eyes, that would have only taken the merest hint of kindness for gravity to drag them out and fall down my cheeks.  There was a definite lump in the throat that would have come out with a gulp, ohm or ughhh before any words could've be formed.  There was that shroud of doubt, have I done the 'right' thing.  Feelings that every parent has felt when their child isn't feeling well and has been peeled away from you.

"So where's your NLP now?"
Manage your state, don't get into a state! State management - lesson 3 in NLP! But what does this have to do with resilience and empowerment?

"No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
  
There is a difference between being at 'Cause' and 'Effect'.  When we are at effect the control of our thoughts, feelings and behaviours have been given to someone or something else.  How we are feeling is at the mercy of something else, something outside of ourselves.  'It' has power about our emotions and responses.  We are powerless...'they' made me feel this way!  'It's not my fault I'm feeling like this, it's yours! it's theirs! it's the weather! the traffic! You get the picture ownership is denied, projected onto others, responsible diminished or vanished. 

At Cause, not only do we take control and become empowered we also accept and regulate our thoughts, feelings and behaviours.  The ownership of these stays within us.  How we respond is acknowledged as our choice, we are choosing to think, feel and act like this in this moment.  This doesn't mean being cold-hearted, a computer (super-reasonable) or emotionless.  It means that we can manage our state without becoming stuck in it.  We can fully feel all our feelings, the whole spectrum.  We don't need to shy away the strength of our emotion, or pretend it's not there.  We can embrace and honour its depth and range.  Aware of the impact, the consequences, the ecology on myself and others, in the here and now, and out in the there and then.

And we can remain, or regain, resourcefulness. 

For me, training NLP with lots of heart is key, would you like to know the dates of my next training?

But for now, I have managed my state and go and do the school run...
0 Comments

2/6/2015 1 Comment

Empowering Habits

  1. Lingering in the space between Stimulus and Response; Cause and Effect.  Giving yourself permission to take the time and space is empowering.  This doesn't have to be long, it doesn't have to be quick.  It could be, taking an extra breath or a small step back.  
  2. Owning your feelings, thoughts and behaviours.  They are all yours and belong to no-one else.  You accept them, even when you're struggling with them.  And because you accept full responsibility you have control over your feelings, thoughts and behaviours and can change them.
  3. You ask for what you want.  You don't expect others to just 'know' what you mean or mind read your wants or needs.  Feeling free to express your expectations, to communicate clearly.
  4. You want what you ask for.  You understand the difference between the cost of something and its value.  Considering the impact, the gain and the pain...is it worth it now?    
  5. Being interdependent, you know that you matter and that others matter too.  Understanding difference expands your uniqueness, taking nothing away from you or them.  
  6. You don't deny any part of your universal self; accepting and embracing your many faces.
  7. Leading with purpose, vision and passion means you don't change your mission to fit where you are now; you adapt and change 
  
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The UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) is a membership organisation and registered charity holding national registers for psychotherapists, psychotherapists qualified to work with children and young people and psychotherapeutic counsellors.