Walking away from the school drop off this morning, I felt anything but resourceful or resilient.
There were tears in my eyes, that would have only taken the merest hint of kindness for gravity to drag them out and fall down my cheeks. There was a definite lump in the throat that would have come out with a gulp, ohm or ughhh before any words could've be formed. There was that shroud of doubt, have I done the 'right' thing. Feelings that every parent has felt when their child isn't feeling well and has been peeled away from you.
"So where's your NLP now?"
"No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
There is a difference between being at 'Cause' and 'Effect'. When we are at effect the control of our thoughts, feelings and behaviours have been given to someone or something else. How we are feeling is at the mercy of something else, something outside of ourselves. 'It' has power about our emotions and responses. We are powerless...'they' made me feel this way! 'It's not my fault I'm feeling like this, it's yours! it's theirs! it's the weather! the traffic! You get the picture ownership is denied, projected onto others, responsible diminished or vanished.
At Cause, not only do we take control and become empowered we also accept and regulate our thoughts, feelings and behaviours. The ownership of these stays within us. How we respond is acknowledged as our choice, we are choosing to think, feel and act like this in this moment. This doesn't mean being cold-hearted, a computer (super-reasonable) or emotionless. It means that we can manage our state without becoming stuck in it. We can fully feel all our feelings, the whole spectrum. We don't need to shy away the strength of our emotion, or pretend it's not there. We can embrace and honour its depth and range. Aware of the impact, the consequences, the ecology on myself and others, in the here and now, and out in the there and then.
And we can remain, or regain, resourcefulness.
For me, training NLP with lots of heart is key, would you like to know the dates of my next training?
But for now, I have managed my state and go and do the school run...